April 12, 2020 – Marv Talan’s Funeral (2020) Ira Kaufman Funeral Home Website
Today, I watched the funeral of my cousin Marv. He passed away after a long illness. He was 93 years old. Marv was married to my mom’s first cousin Bev Talan (nee Steinman), so he was my first cousin once removed. The funeral was in Michigan, and it was attended in person by only a handful of people: Bev, his three daughters Wendy, Linda and Jody, and a few grandkids. I, like many other relatives and friends, watched the funeral live-streaming on the Ira Kaufman Funeral Home’s website.
Everyone who spoke at the funeral talked about how charming and kind Marv was and how he connected so easily with people of all ages. I can attest that the speakers spoke truthfully. I had meaningful and memorable conversations with Marv when I was a young adult — something I was not always able to do with people a generation older than me. Marv always seemed like he genuinely cared about me and could relate to what I was going through, despite our difference in ages. In their later years, Bev and Marv wintered in Scottsdale. My strongest memories of Marv are when I would see him and Bev when I was visiting my mother and her husband Dick in Scottsdale.
My mom and Dick were not big drinkers, but there was always a nice bottle of single malt scotch in their house. Eventually, I realized Marv bought them the bottle of scotch, knowing they would never drink any of it, so he would have something to nice to drink when he came over. Once I realized the scotch came from Marv, I made a point of sharing a drink with Marv when I visited in the winter. After Marv could no longer travel to Scottsdale, I would drink from Marv’s bottle and think of him. I still replace Marv’s bottle of scotch when it is empty, even though he is no longer there to drink it. I will always think of it as Marv’s bottle.
My understanding is that Marv didn’t die of COVID-19, though Bev and his three daughters all have had it (they are fine now). Marv is the first person I have known personally who has passed away during the pandemic. For me, his death is a marker of many more losses to come. His was the first, but definitely not the last, funeral that I will watch on video because I can’t attend in person. This brave new world we live in is increasingly full of loss. I am bracing myself for what is to come. Meanwhile, I drink a sip of single malt scotch from Marv’s bottle in memory of my cousin.